The Happiest Place on Earth a.k.a. Shitty Cell Phone Pics a.k.a. Rookie Bloggers

DISCLAIMER: The pictures that follow are indeed shitty cell phone pictures. These are not the kind of pictures that one would normally include on their blog…after all, people have come to expect nice hi-res pics. But, rookie bloggers that we are, we didn’t bring the ‘good’ camera with us, nor did either one of us realize that bringing said camera was actually feasible at Disneyland. Furthermore…we did not get photos of every ride we talk about. We’re sorry…actually, we’re sorry we’re not sorry. Disneyland is WAY too much fun to worry about getting great shots of everything. If you really want to see things you have two options. Go there yourself, or Google it. 

Crystal: This past weekend, our jobs took us to the Happiest Place on Earth: Disneyland.

Jonathan: YES!!!!!  DISNEYLAND!!! One of my favorite places ever!!! WOOOOOO!!!

Crystal: Now, I’ll confess to being somewhat of a Disney non-believer. I like Disney movies (with the exception of Frozen. That one sucked. Hard.)

Jonathan: Worst. Disney. Movie. Ever. (though the reindeer was pretty damn cute)

Crystal: Yes, Sven was adorable and the only decent thing in that movie. Anyway…as a kid Snow White was my favorite. I still have the Snow White Live at Radio City Music Hall VHS tape that I practically wore out watching. My second favorite was Robin Hood. You know, with the little foxes and rabbits. Cute as hell.

Jonathan: I gotta go with Aladdin as my number one.

Crystal: Anyway, the non-believer part is in the actual amusement park that is Disneyland. Amusement parks are NOT my thing. I have motion sickness, I’m deathly afraid of heights and I don’t enjoy feeling my stomach in my throat. So roller coasters are basically a no-go for yours truly. I was apprehensive about riding the Disneyland rides to say the least. Jonathan was SO excited to be there and all I felt was dread.

Jonathan: SO excited. You have no idea. It had been over two decades since I’d been to Disneyland. AHHHH! I still get excited talking about it!!!  All the rides…all the sights and sounds…all the magic…all the CHURROS!!!  But there was also dread. Dread that the clock would reach park closing time too soon!

Crystal: Not that kind of dread. Dread that I was going to pass out on Space Mountain, dread that Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride would be too wild for my stomach, dread that any churros consumed would end up all over Jack Sparrow’s face during Pirates of the Caribbean.

Jonathan: CHURROS!!!

Crystal: Yes the churros were quite tasty. But back to the part about dreading that this whole Disneyland thing would suck. In fact it was the exact opposite. All the rides were great, and they did not make me want to vomit!

Jonathan: Except for Star Tours.

Crystal: Oh yes. Except for Star Tours which was our first ride. That made me want to vomit, but that was the only one.

Jonathan: My bad. In all my excitement I TOTALLY forgot about the whole motion sickness thing. Being locked in a little room that shakes around while you watch a TV screen…probably a bad choice. Sorry babe. But at least all the rides thereafter were WAY better in the motion sickness arena.

Crystal: True. That was the worst one. After that we headed over to Matterhorn and despite the weird, red-eyed yetis, I did okay.

Jonathan: Those used to be much scarier when I was a kid…I’d always be really excited and scared at the same time when they’d appear…and it was a lot faster when I was little. But still awesome!

Crystal: Then it was on to Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride…

Jonathan: Excellent.

Crystal: Big Thunder Mountain Railroad…

Jonathan: I LOVE Big Thunder!  Probably my favorite ride when I was a kid. Still up there. Every single part of that ride is fantastic…the waiting area…the ride itself with the cool trains…the sound effects…the exquisite detail throughout. Just great!!! Actually, the attention to detail throughout the park is extraordinary. It seems that every possible thing has been thought of; every single sightline in the park is considered so no matter where you look, the magic is there. It’s brilliant.

Crystal: Pirates of the Caribbean…MY favorite ride, and interestingly the longest ride in the park. It lasts about 15 minutes total and tells such a great story. And yes, the detail at Disneyland is pretty amazing.

Jonathan: Pirates was definitely different from when I was a kid…there was no Davy Jones or Jack Sparrow back then, but this was still every bit as badass as when I was little.

Pirate cup

Tasty beverages too. But really bad eggs. 

Crystal: Haunted Mansion looked incredible, all made up for the Halloween season.

Haunted Mansion

Jonathan: Also quite different from when I was young, but I don’t really mind. The Nightmare Before Christmas was such a fun movie and adding it to the park in this way makes perfect sense.

Haunted Entrance

Jack Skellington


Crystal: And finally Indiana Jones.

Jonathan: Badass! This one was as new for me as it was for Crystal. Talk about detail in THIS attraction. They even have the actual Mercedes jeep from “Raiders of the Lost Ark” as part of the cue area! This one came close to nudging out Big Thunder for my favorite…almost. Still Big Thunder.

Crystal: If I had to sum up our first day at Disneyland in two words, they’d be: Super. FUN!

Unfortunately we didn’t get to do Space Mountain the first night. My back was killing me by that point (bad shoes) and I wussed out of standing in the 90 minute line to get in.

Jonathan: Not a wuss. And we DID hit Space Mountain the next evening…in the VERY last seats where the ride is the best. Crystal was a champ. You can see how much she loved it here.

Space Mountain

Notice the sheer terror elation written all over Crystal’s face. 

Crystal: Not loved. Not quite Star Tours bad…but almost. It was bearable though.

So after I wussed out, we took the Monorail to Downtown Disney and walked back to our hotel. The next day I was really looking forward to riding the rides again, which is SO not normal for me at all. Like I said, amusement parks are not my thing. But I was happy to find out that Disneyland IS my thing! I can’t wait to go back.

Jonathan: YAY!!! I can’t wait to go back!!!

Minnie Ears

How can you say no to a hoodie with ears?!


3 thoughts on “The Happiest Place on Earth a.k.a. Shitty Cell Phone Pics a.k.a. Rookie Bloggers

  1. Glad I’m not the only one that doesn’t get all the hooplah about frozen, gah. I can’t wait to take the kiddos to Disney! I need to save first. Looks like a blast!


  2. Pingback: Pumpkin Fucking Spice Cupcakes a.k.a. Disney Wine | bottlesandbeasts

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