Fun With My Hoomans!

Hi! I’m Bella!
Bella White 004
Muffin taught me how to open this magic book so I could tell you about myself. She didn’t realize she was teaching me which is even better. See, we’re mortal enemies, and because we’re mortal enemies I watch her every move. When my hoomans are away she’s always getting online. She’s constantly trying to ruin their credit rating or steal their identities or try to find their weaknesses via WebMD; anything to mess with them or make their lives miserable. But I know something she doesn’t know. She can’t read. She brags to Spock about how her evil plans are coming together, but what she doesn’t realize is that she’s only actually got to the internet twice. Once because she accidentally opened Safari, and the other time because my hoomans left the internet open. She’s SO dumb. Anyway…I just had to figure out how she got this magic book open and she unwittingly helped me achieve that. Now I get to say hello and expose her for the feline villain she truly is!

I can also tell you about my hoomans and our adventures! I love my hoomans! We do lots of fun stuff together. Yesterday a big box came in the magic truck that brings my BarkBox! Dad told me it was our “Kodiak tent“. I didn’t know what that meant, but I was excited! We went next door to Grandpa Bob and Grandma Phyllis’ and right before my very eyes a little house appeared! Mom came home and then we all got in the little house and I played with my ball too. It was SO FUN!

tent full shot

Dad says we’re going “camping” in this little house. I don’t know what “camping” is, but it sounds AWESOME! Anything with my hoomans is awesome. This little house must be awesome too because it has a paw print on it!

tent outside

Mom and dad said we’ll have a “campfire” and roast hot dogs and marshmallows! Will I like a “campfire”? I DON’T KNOW BUT I LOVE MOM AND DAD! Dad even let me use his “camping chair”:

camp chair

chin rest

My hoomans are so great, I even pose nicely when they put clothes on me. Something called “Halloween” is coming and so they said this would be good to wear:

Bella White

Clothes aren’t my favorite, but they said I’d be wearing it at Grandpa Bob and Grandma Phyllis’ house while little kids come and get candy from us! I LOVE LITTLE KIDS!

Spock and Muffin said I looked ridiculous, but what do they know. They don’t get to go “CAMPING”!



Crystal: Well folks, it’s safe to say we’ve been neglecting this blog. Let me see if I can’t give you a quick rundown of our life from last December until now: road trip to Texas then Vegas and back;

Jonathan: Fantastic trip! We logged over 3600 miles during our Christmas vacation and Bella was a HUGE hit everywhere we went. She loved chilling out with Mom and Dad down in Dallas, and she charmed EVERYBODY in Vegas. We even brought her home a doggie bag from the 2-star Michelin restaurant where we had dinner!!! Who’s dog is treated like royalty?!  Our dog!

The only thing we’d have changed about our Vegas stay was the hotel. We stayed at the Flamingo. Never again. Perhaps we’ve been spoiled by the 2500 square foot suite we had last time we stayed at the Bellagio, but we will never stay any place other than Bellagio again. The only reason we chose Flamingo was because we were under the impression that Bellagio didn’t allow dogs. It turns out Bellagio DOES allow dogs and we will never stay anywhere else.

Crystal: Began bathroom remodel;

Jonathan: I blame this solely on ‘Property Brothers’. We started marathon-watching this at Mom and Dad’s house in Dallas and thought, ‘We should paint the guest bathroom…that’ll look nice’. We picked out a color and began the prep work. Next thing you know the old paint is peeling off the walls in sheets (because the drywall had never been primed to begin with), we start finding large amounts of mildew (which means ALL the drywall had to come out…which was good since it was all normal drywall, not the moisture/mildew resistant stuff AND it was even used in the shower instead of cement board. NOT cool) and the skylight is being removed and patched over since it’s directly responsible for all the moisture finding it’s way into the bathroom.

It’s actually been pretty fun thus far (other than the ‘oops’ with the tub faucet…but that might have to get a blog of it’s own), and it’s going to look fantastic when it’s finished. Not only that, but we’ll know it was done correctly.

Crystal: Took in a foster puppy;

Jonathan: Penny the Pisser. Sweet little pooch but don’t even get me started about the shelter we got her from. Yikes! They are  SO mismanaged.

Crystal: Two bullshit Air Force written tests and an Air Force fitness test;

Jonathan: SO glad I won’t have any more of these to take ever again!!!

Crystal: And my mom has cancer.

Jonathan: Yeah. But she’s not going to have it for much longer and that’s awesome!

Crystal: So I guess we have a few excuses as to why we’ve not been blogging. Still, we are two months into 2015 and I thought we should try to post something. Obviously the most worrisome thing on that list is my mom. The good news is, they’re taking out her left kidney and that should be it. She had a random blood clot, totally unrelated to the cancer, that was causing her pain and when she went in to get it checked out they found her left kidney was basically one huge tumor. So that sucker is going to be gone soon.

I think the best plan here is to let the pictures do the talking.

mom's dessert table

C: Mom’s Christmas dessert table. She does not mess around.

J: Those iced cookies (back right side) are the BEST!

Brian and Jonathan

C: My brother and Jonathan playing video games. Something about parking cars before the Prime Minister arrives?

J: No Brakes Valet!!! Might be the best damn game EVER!!!

Christmas Eve

C: Bella really enjoyed being at Grandma’s. 

J: Yep.

passed out pooch

So much so, that you’d frequently find her in this state: passed out pooch.

unlucky bird

J: This poor creature was not Ford tough.


C: Brunch in Vegas. Yes, we wore our Victorian clothes. And yes, we got LOTS of compliments!

J: The Duchess Crystal von Puppy-Lover!

crazy Vegas peeps

C: These guys stopped US asking for a picture! And yet, we still ended up giving them $20…

J: No SHIT!!! And after we posed for nearly 100 pics with strangers and we didn’t make a dime!!! LOL

That’s my boy ‘Pharaoh Moan” on the left. Yes, that’s really his ‘stage name’. HA!

Louis Vuitton balcony

C: Us at the lovely Louis Vuitton balcony enjoying the Bellagio Fountains before dinner at Picasso.

J: It’s not a Vegas trip without spending an evening at the LV patio!


C: Penny the foster puppy. She got adopted this past weekend! We had her for one month and nursed her through her spay surgery/recovery.

J: This pooch ate rawhides like they were popcorn!  She was a real sweet girl.

big piece of bathroom

C: Yes, that is part of our bathroom. The great remodel has begun!

J: No more of this fake shit for us. We’re going with REAL tile this time around.


C: Jonathan is taking everything out and redoing it all. Correctly.

J: Hopefully.

sky light

And the skylight that has been leaking is coming out!